WHEN THE ANGER EXPLODES

TEENAGE AND ANGER

Children and adolescents are wounded emotionally when they interact with their parents,friends and relatives even in day to day normal conversations. Since they are young and weak they cannot show their anger towards them in a forceful way. Most of the time their anger is suppressed continuously.Their anger may erupt in their behaviour in a subtle way. At times it explodes ferociously. When it explodes these adolescents throw away their long stored temper tantrums towards their opposing and oppressing parents and care takers.

The minute they loose control of their anger it may lead to serious verbal threats, violence and destruction. These children and adolescents may look like timid, quite and fragile, but once the unexpected and uncontrolled outbursts of temper explodes they behave most outrageously at the slightest provocation. It happens suddenly without any warning and wanes without any trace. Once the anger is gone these adolescents look like fools and behave like retarted kids. They are embarassed, ashamed and terrified when their parents or friends are hurt by their bad behaviour. It is human nature to be violent at times, and cannot be considered as a pathology or inherent mental disorder. But violent behaviour is common among substance abusers. It is common among adolescents with mood disordrs. Neurological complications, brain lesions, epilepsy, mania and depression also provoke temper tantrums and violent outbursts in children and adolescents.

How then the children and adolesents are allowed to express their anger in a reasonable and natural way. Anger in fact is an inborn aggressive instinct. Sports and atheletic world allow these youngsters to express their aggressive impulses in a safe and socially acceptable form. Atheletes and sportmen become super performers with varying degree of success in controlling their anger, violence and aggression and channelising it in a positive and creative ways - that shows them as super stars in their sports field.

Explosive outbursts of anger and violent temper tantrums are considered abnormal if it occurs regularly in children and teenagers. It matters concern if it blows out of proportion, out of control and severe - that may result in bullying, destruction, chronic absenteism in school and drug abuse ends in behavioural disorders.

WHEN THE EMOTION LEAKS

CHILDREN AND EMOTIONS

Children in general have a desire to feel happy, but it is not possible all the time. The happiness and peace slips away and in turn takes over by feelings of sadness and gloom. At times they may experience the feeling of fear, shame, worry, anger, disgust, hatred, jealousy and self-hate. In their tender young age, it is difficult for them to tackle the daily pressures of stress they face from their family members especially from their parents. Facing fears, frustrations and iritations make them weak and powerless.

Children and adolescents are considered as play objects by their parents and care takers. This means that kids live on dangerously high levels of stress and experience severe mood changes, this often leads them to mental and emotional break down. These children are at times neglected by their parents for their abnormal bad behaviour. Their self-esteem and respect are shattered and these adolescents find comfort in substance abuse. They find relief through alcohol and street drugs. When the parental relationship is broken these adolescents become the victim of social outcast result in emotional isolation, when connecting with trusted parents is lost. This leads to emotional restlessnes, trigger pain, frustration and intense fear.

Parental neglect and emotional restlessness produce shame in these children. Shame takes away their self-respect and erode their self-esteem, weaken their self-confidence, shaken their self-discipline, shatters their self-determination and leads them to failure and loss of self-control. These children feel uneasiness in their day to day relationship with their care takers especially with their parents that leads to internal and external withdrawl from others.

At the emotional level these adolescents act like kids. They follow their emotional impulses. They feel uneasy, restless and guilty. Their mind is filled with negative feelings like anger, guilt, fear, envy, jealousy, anxiety and hatred. These emotional conflicts lead them towards depression. Thes youngsters find themselves acting and saying things in ways that distance them from the parents and the peers whom they love. They develop their own way of feeling, thinking and acting. It is high time for the parents to understand and study these clues and act out positively to bring their children under their control before it create mental discomfort and emotinal distress that leads them to severe mental handicap and emotional break down.

DAD MOM AND THE CHILD

THE FINAL QUESTION

There are some important questions unanswered.These questions are highly emotional. Children and adolescents harbour these sentimental questions in their minds. These questions are deeply buried in their sub-conscious mind. Parents are not sensitve to it. They think that their children are very much ignorant about their past misdeeds and bad behaviour. They blindly believe that these children would forget the abuses committed on them by their own hands. Every bad incident that happened in their childhood years is vividly recoded in their memory.It is not possible for these children to hide their negative emotions anymore. At the appropriate moment

the accumulated energy will burst open to the surface and the most suppressed sensitive emotions are expelled out with force and vigour.These young children no longer tolerate the bad behaviour inflicted on them by their own perverted parents.They are now more angry and very aggressive towards their care takers and their parents.

Physical traumas can be healed; the emotional traumas can not be endured.It is too difficult to heal the mental wounds.It is also too difficult to answer certain logical questions. My question is, are you ready to answer the following questions, if your child poses these questions straight to your face.It is a great challenge for the modern day parents to answer as these children are very intelligent.

Now read the poem :

DR.HABIBULLAH mixes the true feelings with a tinge of colour and tears of emotions.

i keep your face

i speak your voice

i practise your vice

i play your tricks.

i am not part of you

i am the whole of you.

i am your blood

i am your flesh

i am your bone.

i am the tough and

the rough of you.

my habits are

not mine.

my name is

not my choice.

when i committ

some mistakes

people ask me

your name.

they know me

by your name.

they measure me

by your image.

they judge me

by your reputation.

how strange

people are,

to accuse the parent

for the wrongs

of their child.

can you change

their mind.

INDIVIDUALITY AND PERSONALITY

THE QUESTION OF SUBSTANCE

A child can not be bad all of a sudden. Every child is born pure. It is the parents who make them good or bad. A child is violent because the child witnesses violence in the behaviour of their own parents. When these children grow older, they become bad because their parents are not good in their character. Every child believes that it's behaviour and charecter is shaped by the training they get in their early period of life and that too, from their own parents. Modern parents are in an embrassing situation when their grown up kids put the blame whole heartedly on their parents for their minor and major vices they committ in their daily life.

DR.HABIBULLAH in his poem, discusses an interesting dialogue that happened between the child and the parent.How do you blame your kid when your child ask the right question at the right time.

i am bad - because

you are not good.

i am dishonest - because

you are not honest.

i am violent - because

you don't profess non - violence.

virtue can not be

born out of vice.

darkness is not

the child of light.

it is you

who stripped me

of my individuality

and clothed me

with your personality

and forgotten

your responsibility

and responsible for

my irresponsibility.

there are vaccines

for prevention

of deadly diseases.

is there vaccines

for prevention

of parental bad habits.

BAD PARENTS MANUFACTURE BAD CHILDREN

PARENTS - THE ROLE MODELS

Parents are the real role models for their children.Good and bad habits of the parents are easily learned and stored in their memory.Children invariably follow these inputs for their referal in case, they face any critical situations in their life. When the children misbehave, it is mainly due to the faulty training imposed by the parents in their early days.They are not aware that they are really responsible for incubating the bad character and behaviour in their own children without understanding them emotionally well.These mental taumas inflicted early in life affect their physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

DR.HABIBULLAH writes about one such incdent in his poem.

as the twig bends

so the tree.

a bad parent

can not bring forth

a good child.

in anger

you can not laugh.

in weep

you can not smile.

it is difficult

to extract

sandal oil

in the fire wood.

dogs can not sing

snakes can not hum

tigers can not bleat

the leopard can't

change it's spots.

you are my mirror

i am your mirror

mirror is always innocent.

it can reflect

what is projected.

i can reflect

only your image.

If the grown up children and adolescents ask this sort of sensitive questions, it may be too difficult for the parents to answer them sensibly.

PARENTS - CHILDREN AND EMOTIONS

PARENTS - THE FIRST TEACHERS

Children learn all fundamental things straight from their parents; because children invariably consider their parents as role models. All activities of the parents are not only watched by their children but vividly recorded in their sub - conscious mind, which later on evoke major psycho - somatic disorder, if parental attitude toward their children happened to be violent in nature. Children's mind is like a clean slate; uncorrupted, tender and more fragile. Bad traumatic events disrupts their mind negatively and result in bad behavioural disorder. When the parents accuse their children for their anti social behaviour they should realise that they are unconsciously responsible for their kid's bad habits.

The mental attitude of one such teenager is described beautifully by DR.HABIBULLAH in his poem. Just meditate on it...

i learned all my

first lessons

from you.

you are my

first teacher.

you are my

grand master.

you are my

great hero.

you are my

super model.

i am your copy

i am your print.

i follow your

foot prints.

no school teaches

love and affection,

no college coaches

kindness and generosity.

honesty and integrity

can not be learned.

truth and faith

can not be purchased.

these human traits

can not be trained

only be experienced.

face to face

from the parents

to their children.

IS NOT DEPRESSION - HEREDITY

AN EMOTIONAL QUESTION

Parents think that children won't ask difficult questions. But their thoughts are different; they may not ask embarassing questions to their parents, but they may think differently in their mind.When they grow older, their older thoughts too become mature and bring forth new dimension in their thinking pattern. Parental attitudes create lot of confusion in their young minds. They realise that their parents were very harsh and cruel towards them in their younger days. It hurts them emotionally in their later period of growth and development when they become adolescents and young adults. DR.HABIBULLAH writes in his poem about the mental attitude of these children and how an angry, young innocent adolescent raises a very critical question towards his own parents, in fact - a difficult question too difficult to answer.

a child's charecter is

moulded by nature and nurture.

nature is heredity,

nurture is environment.

what sort of heredity

you infused in me.

if migraine is heredity

is not mental disorder - heredity.

if heart attack is heredity

is not anger - heredity.

if diabetes is heredity

is not depression - heredity.

if asthma is heredity

is not anxiety - heredity.

it is not that - your blood

become my blood,

your thoughts too.

it is not that - your bones

become my bones,

your feelings too.

it is not that - your flesh

become my flesh,

your character too.

if you are poisoned

in your heart,

i am too poisoned

in my heart.

BETWEEN TEARS AND CRIES

AN INTIMATE DIALOGUE BETWEEN
THE SON AND THE FATHER

Children need attention from their parents in times of crisis and when they meet bad situations in life.They don't get any support morally and emotionally when they face tough problems in their day to day life.This attitude from their parents make them sad and at times make them depressed.

DR.HABIBULLAH picturises in his beautiful poem one such intimate dialogue that happened between the father and the son. Now read the poem.....

in my life's crisis and

in times of upsets

i looked up

for your help.

but you turned me

down in the dumps.

turned your face

closed your eyes

gave me a deaf ear

to my fears and cries.

when you close your heart

when you cross your arms

when you keep me

at arm's length

how shall i gain

mental strength.

how weak i am

how strong you are.

you used me

for your comforts.

abused me

for your discomforts.

tell me dad

how to identify

a wolf in

sheep's clothing.

IS NOT WITHDRAWL OF LOVE A CRIME

PARENTAL NEGLECT
Children in general long for love and affection from their own parents; but very often it is denied. Parents have no time to sit and discuss and even share the most intimate things with their own children. When children decides to talk about their private matters they are not encouraged.In fact they are yelled and often criticised. Their privacy is broken and their self-image is shattered in front of others.

One such incident happened between the father and the son is narrated by DR.HABIBULLAH in his beautiful poem. Now just listen to the cries of this innocent child.....

your yelp and growl

puts me in doldrums.

your bark and howl

drops me in depression.

it drains my energy

squeezes my heart

takes away my pease of mind.

i desired to be the

apple of your eye

in your mind's field.

but you have made me

an apple of discard.

like a fish out of water

i gasp for breath of love.

if withdrawl of life is a crime

is not withdrawl of love a crime.

INSULTS - HURTS AND HUMILIATION

EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

Children are like flowers.They are tender, weak and fragile.They bloom and blossom with the manure of love and affection.These are like sunlight and water to the flower.When it is denied, the flower will perish.When the love is denied to the children, their emotional health is shattered and they become emotionally handicapped. When parents start accusing their own children for their very small faults, these children are prone to untold anxiety and depression. Their emotional growth is deprived and they naturally fall as victims into the hands of emotional disaster.

Parents are advised not to make crude comments on their own children.These insults, hurts and humiliation make them more inferior and they feel awkward in facing the challenging situation in

their life. The adverse comments uttered by one crude father against his very sesitive son is beautifully expressed by DR.HABIBULLAH in his picturseque emotive poem. Listen to the crying words of the little one, addressed to his perverted and unloving dad.

food, water and shelter are

the basic needs of men.

even to satiate my needs

i need to overcome

your sadistic sarcasm.

when i eat my food

did you not say

i eat like a horse.

so delicious are

your soft words.

when i drink water

did you not utter

i drink like a fish.

very tasty are

your sweet words.

when i sleep for a while

did you not shout

i sleep like a log.

more sedative are

your soothing words.

how sharp - your hurts are

do you have

a balm - to heal

my mental scars.

hard words

never inspire anyone.

sharp comments

never give serenity.

cutting remarks

never bring tranquility.

words are sharper than weapons

medicines heal- the pysical wounds

how can you heal- my mental wounds.

TOO DIFFICULT FOR THE PARENTS TO ANSWER...AND TO DIGEST.

ANGER ANXIETY AND ANGUISH

ADOLESCENTS AND CRITICISM

It is too difficult for the children and adolescents to digest negative comments and criticisms.A growing child needs care and affection from their parents and teachers;if it is denied to them they feel hurt.The are badly wounded in their heart.They may not show it outside like adults;they keep it suppressed in their subconscious mind.They exhibit their emotions outside, when they are utterly disturbed and frustrated by their close relatives, mainly their parents.But parents abuse them when they need love and affection. They are ill treated when they expect appreciation from their parents,teachers,care takers and close relatives.

The anger and the anguish these children and adolescents express unconsciously are vividly expressed by DR.HABIBULLAH in his beautiful poem.

When these children are allowed to speak naturally it is too difficult to answer them; just listen to their heart beats....

did you not toture me, when

i needed your tender love.

did you not torment me, when

i harbour for your kindness.

did you not degrade me, when

i longed for your appraisal.

did you not desert me, when

i deserved a praise.

did you not turn out to be

an intimate enemy, when

i expect your friendliness.

how could you victimise

the soul of your own son.

how could you eat

the flesh of your own blood.

WHEN SELF-ESTEEM SHATTERS

SELF ESTEEM is an esteemed possesson of a human being.A man is ready to loose his valid material possessions, not his sef-esteem.He is ready to pay any price to preserve his self-esteem.Children are more concerned with their self image and esteem.Modern day parents are not concerned about this.Parents and teachers invariably pass adverse comments on these volatile young children.They do not think about it's adverse effects and how it affect the mind of these youngsters.Children and adolescents are more vulnerable to it.Most of their genuine demands are not respected by their parents.These parents abuse their children verbally with obnoxious languages.They do not know that they are unconsciously inflicting an emotional trauma on the minds of these innocent young children.

Every day the father and the mother hurt these young children with dirty words, bad gestures and cruel comments. These children are emotionally shattered by these incidents. These youngsters are more susceptible to rage and anger.They very often burst into fits and tears.These children weep a lot for unknown reasons.

DR.HABIBULLAH narrates beautifully about the 'child's weep' in his very extraordinary poem.

The poor child expresses his fears and mental agonies with a weep to his unconcerned father.

weep has become

my constant companion

since the moment

I was born.

none knows

the emotional wounds

the inner turmoil,

you inflicted on

my young mind.

I wept, wept and wept

and my weep

turned inside and

trnsformed as 'wheeze'

Is not wheezing

an inner form of weeping.

Is not the cry

an emotional language.

Is not the weep

an emotional communication.

Is not the sob

an exchange of emotions.

Parents in general have a poor perception in reading the facial emotions expressed by their own children.They experience difficulties in recognising the moods of their youngsters.Wheezing in children and adults are mostly due to psychological than physiological, but the physiology of their body is greatly altered by their psychological condition.Wheezing in young adults are due to an abnormal emotional state rather than an abnormal physical state. Children expect love and affection from their parents.If it is denied they become abnormal in their moods and behaviour. It leads to emotional deprivation. These children are more prone to drugs and alcohol and naturally fall into the trap of depression.

WHERE WERE I - BEFORE I WAS BORN

AN UNTOLD STORY OF AN ABUSED CHILD

This is an interesting emotional tussle that happened between a father and his son.Here the son grows and becomes an adult.The character and behaviour of the son is not liked by his father.The father finds all sorts of faults in his son's activities.He scolds him, accuses him and curses him for his bad behaviour.The son was quite and very patient for a long time.He did not rise a single harsh word againt his father.But it is too much for the son to bear the emotional trauma that was inflicted on him continuously.His emotions buried deep in his sub-conscious mind gave way and comes out ferotiously to the surface of his conscious mind.Now he speaks his mind,his words are very bold,measured,enriched with meaning and substance.

DR.HABIBULLAH  has penned this extraordinary poem.He explained and discussed at length the inner emotional meaning of the poem to his very close inner circle of friends,fans and admirers at a special function organised in one of his friend's house recently.

The son is very angry with his father now.He starts asking questions one after another.He tells his father that he should not be punished for his bad behaviour.He says that his father is responsible for his bad charecter.He puts the whole blame on his father's shoulders,because he says he simply follows the foot steps of his own father. and has learnt all bad things from him only.

Now read the poem..

to err is human

to forgive is divine

judging oneside

paves the way to injustice.

justice demands

balance of two sides.

my question is

where were I

before I was born.

neither did I plan

for my birth

nor did you ask

for my conscent.

I was born without

my permission.

the moment I was born

you became my dad.

I am nothing  but

the ingredients of you

your genes and emotions.

The son's anguish and sadness reflect in his throbbing question.He is very logical in his arguments.He asks a simple question tohis father.To committ a mistake is common to every human being.Prophet Abraham committed the mistake of telling a lie.Moses murdered an egyptian.God did not punish them.But you have punished me for my small mistakes.Don't judge your side alone.If you committ the mistake of judging my faults alone you will land in trouble.To your sick eyes my mistakes are magnified.You simply forget about your blunders.If you want justice you need a balance of good mind.Unfortunately you do not possess a clarity of mind.Your judgement is always wrong.First of all you have committed the great mistake or the great blunder of giving me a birth without my conscent.I did not ask for that.I am ashamed that I am born to you without my permission and you have naturally became my father.That doesn't mean that I should act like a slave to you life long.I am nothing but your flesh,blood and bones.I am made by your basic ingrerdients mixed with your genes and emotions.I am not to be blamed for your mistakes because you are responsible for it.

                                                                                                     post to be continued tomorrow.......

DR.HABIBULLAH - A SHORT PROFILE

DR.HABIBULLAH is a highly qualified doctor specialised in pediatric medicine and psychology.In his early years as a biologist he was interested in studies concerned with plant and animal behaviour.He started his career as a pediatrician and developed an interest in the science of mind.Studies on child development,  behaviour and emotional health in children enthused him to pursue a course in psychology.His comparative studies on animal and human behaviour opens a new torrent of insight and illumiation.He dwelt deep in the inner depths of sufi mysticism and psychology that quenched his thirst in experiencing the true essence in the science and inner secrets of sufi esotericism.His analytical mind started experimenting and applying this divine science in the field of medical management of diseases.His vision was further enlightened and the puzzle of 'mind over matter' and 'meditation over medicine' found to be justified.His vast knowledge in medical science coupled with the experience in the field of clinical medicine for more than three decades helped him to synthesize the gap.

He introduced his modified,revolutionary sufi meditation, a spiritual exercise technique that revolutionised  the field of sufi psychology.His innovative techniques concentrating on the special centres of illumination and creativity paved new ways in converting, rectifying, balancing, purifying and energetising the inner mechanism of body and mind.This special mental excercises and methods have proved remarkable rewarding results in mind body purification process and helped to relieve the mental stress, strain and tension.

It is an alchemical reaction in dissolving  the covered personality and exposing  the the true individuality of the self.His system of mind healing techniques gave tremendous importance to the principle of 'holism' according to which the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts - aim to achieve a perfect mind body balance, a state where human being is in complete harmony, as an integrated physical, mental, emotional and spiritual entity - a system which brings man into harmony with himself and nature.

A number of common symptoms in children and adults like weezing asthma, seizures, eczema and temper tantrums are exhibited as an abnormal emotional state - a deep rooted emotional component buried deep in their sub concious mind, rather than abnormal physical condition.At a later date these emotions may emerge to the surface of the conscious mind and manifest itself as physical illness.It is not enough to treat the physical symptoms of the body, unless the bad emotions stored in the mind are relieved.Mind healing alone  helps to improve the physical and emotional well being of the affected children, adolescents and young adults,only then the quality of life in them will be greatly enhansed and improved. 

every child is nothing but the ingredients of their parent's genes and emotions.

a weep turned inside becomes a wheeze. wheezing is an inner form weeping.

a sob is an intimate form of communication - an exchange of affected emotion.

children are tortured when they are in need of the parent's tender love

they are tormented when they long for their affection.

children are degraded when they aspire for their parent's approval.

they are deserted when they deserve a praise.

DR.HABIBULLAH is a master in the art of mind healing.His articles on mind - body health,child health,growth,development,personality and psychology are inspiring,well read and appreciated.Hundreds of his articles appeared in almost all leading news papers,dailies,weeklies and monthly magazines.All India Radio broadcasted some of his medical programmes.He is closely connected with the high-level and apex committees of the government,social and medical organisations both national and international.He was the high - level committee member of the government nutritious meal programme for children and served as a member of the selection committee for president's national awards, ministry of social welfare.He was a member of the tamilnadu government hajj committee and the tamilnadu state wakf - board enquiry committee.

DR.HABIBULLAH is apowerful motivational speaker.Thousands of students,teachers and parents have been highly influenced and inspired by his speeches and their life style have been greatly improved.His psycho-educational programmes are inspiring,heart warming and life transforming.His emotional training workshops are innovative,informative, educative and creative.

His regular workshops on emotional management conducted in india and abroad are well atented by the senior executives of well known corporate houses like ETA-ASCON, MBM, CLIPSAL and many other well known organisations.His book on MIND TRANSPLANTATION is currently under print and yet to be published.His workshops, meditaion camps and talk shows are vivid,lively and inspiring, attracted thousands as his ardent admirers.

KIDS GLITZ AND GLAMOUR

CHILD MODELS

In recent times,newage kids are trained to become super sexy models,to suit the glitz and glamour world to attract their immeadiate adult audience.Every child has a growth and development pattern guided by the mother nature.These children are exploited to grow and develop as adult models with the tools of the kid; an appearence of truth that is false and deceptive-a form of tasteless showiness,brashness and flashiness.

With their trained traits of being rash and hasty with the appearence of strident colour complexion,costumes and glittering ornamentation in the atmosphere of gaudy sound and tastless music these innocent children are exploited to sing and dance like adult models to attract adult perverted audience who enjoy it with carnal desires,wild passion and motives.

These children are instructed to loose their weight in the gyms,eye brows shaped,faces powdered at beauty parlours,braces done with dentists to modify their smiles,noses altered and sharpened with the help of cosmetic surgeons.The psychology behind this mantra is  to look attractive and beautiful,to be like super models and film stars.These kids are told that alluring beauty and charm with sex appeal will capture the attention of the adult audience.They are asked by their tainers not only to attract but to magnetize the audience with the tricks of beauty and sex appeal and to charm them with a sweet  and pleasing smile - an attractiveness that interests,pleases and stimulates the men and encourages them, to cast a magic spell over the audience.Would it be true that the modern mothers and their immediate family members consider it pleasing,more rewarding or that they simply play the role of silent spectators, just like the common audience.

STUDENT STABS RATOHORE- A CHILD MOLESTOR

THE SENIOR S.P. SAYS,THE BOY IS
'MENTALLY UNSTABLE'

The interesting incident happened just three days back in chandigarh.The former Haryana police DGP was stabbed by a college student.He did it in a fit of anger.The man Rathore infact molested a fifteen year old young girl some twenty years back and was responsible for the death of the child.The act is probably the anger that he is feeling and nursing  in a corner of his mind,thinking that the powerful former police chief is exploiting the situation to his favour by manipulating the law and justice system.

The boy seemed to be a calm,quite and devoted student.He used to talk and discuss with his parents about the injustice,that is prevalent in the society.He is from an affluent family.His father is the professor, in the department of mechanical engineering and his mother is also a professor.

The student, Utsav sharma's name is very familiar in the minds of young students.In the schools and colleges, students very cautiously discuss about this matter.These youngsters consider him as a hero for his  courage.

Children are thinking now.They are very cautious and conscious. They know what is happening around them.The atrocities and cruelties committed by these elders are no longer allowed to carry out so easily. The elders may sleep on these matter for a long time,but the youngsters are not ready to allow it  anymore.It is the anger and rage nourished in the young mind of the the student,that suddently awakened  him and guided him to carry out the assault and violence against the disgraced former police chief. Bad elders should learn lessons from these youngsters.Whatever it be, acts of violence have no place in a civilised society because every honest, law abiding citizen have faith in the judiciary system of our country.

MOTHER KILLS HER OWN CHILDREN

MOTHER WAS HARASSED BY THE HUSBAND

MOTHER IN TURN KILLED HER CHILDREN.

The above incident happened three days back in tamilnadu.The mother was regularly beaten and harassed by her husband.She was very angry because of the continuous torture from her husband.She wanted to committ suicide.Before that she murdered her two children.

When the father beats the mother the mother gets angry.The mother becomes very emotional.She can not beat her husband back.whenevever the irritation grows more, she becomes more stressed.When she is emotional she can not think properly.She is always irrational.When her stress level is more she breaks and outbursts her bad emotions on her own children.Children are more fragile and weak.The can't oppose the emotional outbursts of their violent parents.They fall prey to their anger and violence.Without any resistence from their side, they silently succumb to their parent's violence and cruelties and looses their precious lives.It is pathetic that these innocent children are in the hands of their most cruel and violent parents,whom they misunderstood as their protectors and care takers. The question is are these children safe in the hands of their own parents? just think silently for a moment,and pray for the poor kids.

CHILD ABUSE

NINE YEAR OLD CHILD WAS KIDNAPPED, MURDERED AND
CHARRED TO DEATH BY HER OWN RELATIVES

This gruesome and shattering incident happened three days back in Hyderabad.

This 'violent child abuse' was carried out by the child's close relatives.After hearing the death of his dear child, the loving father collapsed and got a massive heart attack and died within minutes reaching the hospital.

This sort of stories happening in our land giving shock waves in the tender minds of our young and innocent children.They are very much afraid of their own relatives.This particular child while reaching to her school was stopped by a mob and the driver was assaulted and the child was kidnapped and then murdred.Nowadays children are afraid of talking to their own near and dear relatives.They do not know who will turn against them when they become emotional.The girls studying in the particular school are shocked to hear the harowing incident that happened to their close friend.

This will make these young children become more afraid.They may get sleep disturbances.They may experience nightmares and night terrors in their dreams.These real stories in a way excel the violent incdents that we witness in cinema.

TEENAGE VIOLENCE

ENGINEERIG COLLEGE STUDENT WAS KIDNAPPED

AND BEATEN BY SENIOR STUDENTS

This incident happened two days back in chennai.The student is the son of a senior I.A.S.officer.The reason was that the boy did not respond to the commands of the senior students.The seniors got very angry with him that resulted in kidnapping and beating of the poor junior student.

ANOTHER ENGINEERING COLLEGE STUDENT WAS
RAGGED,BEATEN AND WAS THROWN FROM    THE
FOURTH FLOOR OF THE HOSTEL

This incident also happened  in chennai.The boy sustained very serious injuries and his condition became very critical.

A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD SCHOOL BOY WAS BRUTALLY

MURDERED BY HIS CLOSE FRIEND

This incident happened in salem district of Tamilnadu.The boy gave his friend some money to purcahase a mobile phone.His friend did not purchase the mobile phone for him.He asked him to give him back the money.His friend tried to cheat him.The boy got angry and told him that if he did not give his money back he would complain the matter to the head master.His friend got very angry and brutally murdered him in the bath room of the school hostel.The police arrested the teenager and produced him before the court.

The modern day youth are emotionally imbalanced.They do not know how to control their bad negative emotions.These adolescents are rich and are from an affluent family background.Economically they are strong;emotionally they are very weak.College education may help them to get a degree.This may help them to get a good job.These childeren are hot tempered,born to fight and learn to terrorise their co-students.They do not learn any good amount of moral training from their family.They have no good role model to follow.They learn all bad lessons from bad companions.Cinema teaches them every thing they need to pursue a bad career in life.In kerala even thirteen year old boys consume alcohol.Mini bars are available every one kilometer distance.Emotionally imbalanced children are more prone to alcohol and street drugs.No doubt that their bad emotions slowly convert them into typical sociopaths,they in turn become psychopaths.

All the above incidents happened in school and college premises.These students in general are intelligent and they are above average in knowledge and skills.They can study well and can get good marks.They may pass their examination with distinction and may even get good jobs and earn lucerative emoluments.These adolescents will carry not only good qualifications with them where ever they go but also carry with them their bad emotions.

The most important contribution education can make to a teenager's development is to help him toward a field where his talents best suit him where he will be satisfied and competent.The above incidents simply shows that these children are educationally more competent and emotionally more incompetent.

Instability and inconsistency of daily family life are rampant in these segments of our society including the well to do and highly educated family.IQ in no way conributes to success in emotional life.Academic intelligence has little to do with emotional life.

These children should be trained well to handle the emotional crisis in their life.They need the following abilities in general.

the ability to motivate oneself
the ability to face frustration in day to day life
the ability to control one's basic impulses
the ability to control one's moods
the ability to delay gratifications
the ability to regulate one's emotions

These youngsters are good in handling their physical skills,mental skills,academic skills and mental skills.They  lack the ability to handle their emotional skills.Thoughts of worry and instability in family integrity confuses these younger minds.These children in general feel tired, fatigued and exhausted Students who are anxious, angry or depressed do not learn.The mind does not stay long in school works.Thoughts of self-pity,despair,hopelessness and helpnessness make them jittery and loose interest in good life.These frustrated children turn their anger and frustration towards the society in which they live.They expriment their bad emotions with their close friends and associates.A small emotional outburst land them into trouble.A friendly conversation ends in bitterness and violence.They are badly motivated by their bad feelings and emotions.


Emotional management programmes for children and adolescent are conducted
freely in schools and colleges.

To organise a free programme inside the premises of your school or college you can simply contact:

Email: doctor.habibullah@gmail.com

Dr.Habibullah is available in chennai now.
He is availble until the end of february.

TEENAGE SEX

QUESTION

I am a teacher.I attended one of your progammes recently.Most of my students are addicted to cinema.They have more interest in cinema than their studies.Most of the time,even inside the class rooms they discuss about their favourite cinema heroes and heroines.Girl students are no exception to it.These students are devoted fans of their cherished heroes.They talk about the most intimate scenes that they have seen in the films and even enjoy discussing about it very openly.As teenagers they are more interested in discussing about the sexual affairs of their favourite ones.Our openion is that cinema, has corrupted the younger minds totally.A thorough discussion on sex education for these younger generation may help them to understand the misconception they carry in their mind about sex.I am thankful if you please give me some valid suggestion on this matter.

ANSWER

The new age teenagers are totally a different breed.They are for more advanced in technology and the information they have on modern day gadgets are far superior than their teachers and their parents.They understand things without much explanation.Their knowledge is vast in most of the delicate subjects.Cinema is a very small entertainment for them.They gather all sort of information in a better way than their elders. Most of the modern day youngsters are tech sauvy

and their techniques in handling the most sensitive subjects are superb.But it is good that some value based sex education by shool counsellors and doctors may help them to understand the subject in a clear way.Child sex abuse is very common.Children should be advised how to report these matters to the teachers and to their parents without any hesitation.Guiding the new generation, teaching the good morals, inculcating the good habits, and making them and moulding them to be a good and healthy citizens, no doubt lies in the hands of the most respectable teaching community.

MY FATHER DRINKS DAILY.WHEN I DRINK HE GETS ANGRY

QUESTION

My father drinks daily. He has set up a mini bar in our house.Every weekend he invites his business friends and serves alcohol.I am familiar with his favourite brands.I developed a taste in drinking.I too boozes regularly with my friends out side.One day he caught me in a drunken state and beaten me very harshly for that. My mom came for my rescue,and he pushed her down.I became very angry after the incident,and start boozing more.I am very upset.I am not attending school now.I attended your emotional management programme recently.Please guide me.I cry a lot because I have learnt this habit only from my father.

ANSWER

Children learn many things from their parents.Parents are their first teachers.Children watches the activities of their parents very closely.You confess that your father is responsible for developing this bad habit in you.I really appreciate your bold statement.It is too difficult for you to advise your father to change his old habits.Please understand that if you drink alcohol,it will interfere with your brain development,because you are a very young boy.You can not concentrate well in studies.You may even loose your co-ordination in your day to day activities.

I appreciate that you have asked this question.Tell your mother and also some respected members of your family to guide your father in this regard.You can tell this matter to your family doctor also,so that he may advise your father in this regard.Unless your father changes himself for the best,and adopt himself to become a better role model for you to follow,he has no moral right to punish you in this regard.As you are the elder son of the family you have certain responsibility on your young shoulders.When elders do wrong things,youngsters need not wait and watch things silently.As a new age youngster you too can take some harsh measures to correct the bad habits of the elders even if they happened to be your parents.Please consult a family psychotherapist in this regad.Once again I appreciate your very honest and an upright question.

AN EMOTIONALLY DISTURBED TEENAGER

QUESTION

My son is always tired,feel weak and confused.My family doctor tells me that my son is depressed.I am afraid and this makes me restless.I attended your workshop on 'teenage agonies and behaviour disorders' session for parents recently.Please tell me how can I know that my son is emotionally disturbed.

ANSWER

An emotionally disturbed child easily upsets by bad moods,thinks inferior,low ,unworthy,prone to jealousy,envy,indulge in violence,burst into fits and tears,jumps into fights and arguments,overreacts to irritation and frustration,violates rules and regulations,easily succumbs to bad habits,disobey parents and teachers,susceptible to rage and anger,feels low confidence and self esteem,more irritable,irresponsible,inactive and indifferent.These are common emotional disturbances any one can easily observe in children.Mothers are natural psychologists.

As a sensitve mother you can easily read these emotions written on the face of your child.You can attend my 'face reading' classes to learn this art.

MY MOTHER MAKES MY LIFE MISERABLE

QUESTION

I am eighteen years old.I am a bright student in studies.My father died two years back.I am living with my mother.My mother got some good contact in the cinema field.She wants me to act in some television seriels.Because of her compulsion I am doing some modelling works also.I earn good money from this profession.I have no interest in this field.I hate this acting profession.I want to continue my studies.My teachers are supporting me.My mother is totally against this.She beats me at times,I hate her for this.She is keeping all the money.she is not bothered about me .Her only interest is making more money.My life is miserable;my mother makes my life more miserable.Please advise me.

ANSWER

I am getting questions of this kind from number of teenage girls.The modern day trend reflects in their life style and madness for making easy money devastates the morale of the society.You are not an exception to it.It is unfortunate that your own mother exploits you for her own selfishness.Studying big courses in colleges will not make you very rich.Acting and modelling may fetch you a good money.It is a short cut way to make a cheap fame also.If you have no passion for acting you can simply follow your own concience.Consult some educated elderly men and women relatives in your family and ask them to advise your mother in this regard.As a girl it is too difficult for you to go against your mother's wishes.Tell your mother your difficulties that you face in your present profession.There is a possibility that she may change her mind soon. Do not take any hasty decisions;do not show your hatred towards your mother openly.Hope for the best;always be confident,after all she is your own mother.In your tender age it is not possible for you to live without your mother.

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A LOVING MOTHER TO KILL HER TEENAGE SON

YOU MAY SHED TEARS IF YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART
Read the touching story....and discuss

Tom was a teenager.He was met with an accident.After the accident his brain got damaged.His condition becomes miserable and  he almost lived  in a pathetic  vegetative state.His mother Frances Inglis was a loving mother and also a nurse.She knows that there is  no possibility for her son's recovery.Her son's pain and suffering devasted her heart and mind.Her agony was intolerable.She cried a lot but it never reduced her pain and suffering.She became hopeless ,restless and helpless.Her love for him was uncontrollable and she was not prepared to continue this horrible state to prolong.She was not ready to give a life of hell to her loving son.His condition was getting  worse day after day.She took a bold decision to alleviate the suffering of her son.She administered the lethal dose of poison,and killed him with a heart, full of love.The laws ban mercy killing.She was offered a life imprisonment.The mother is not bothered about the judgement.She is happy that she has relieved the agony,pain and suffering of her loving son. WOULD SHE BE BLESSED BY HER LORD FOR HER MERCIFUL ACT.

IN THE SCHOOL BIG BAD BOYS TRIED TO UNDRESS ME..

QUESTION

My school is a top school in the city.When my father got a transfer,he used his influence to secure a seat for me in the school.As a new comer, I experienced a lot of problems from a group of senior students.I was teased, insulted and nagged.One day a group of seniors came to my room and tried to remove my clothes and they asked me to give a pose without dress.Luckily the warden came and I was saved.I am afraid to complain it to the teacher because of their vulgar threats.I have attended your emotional management programme recently.Please help me. I am depressed and totally confused.

ANSWER

Teasing of this kind is very common in schools and colleges, eventhough there are stringent laws to punish the law breakers. Stripping of one's dress in front of others is not an insult but humiliation.As a new student, to accomodate to these sorts of insults takes some more time.You need more courage to handle this challenge.Make efforts to make some good and brave students as your friends.Tackle the issue boldly.Send a clear message to your enemies that you are not a person to be humiliated easily.As far as possible try to tackle it with your new friends.If not possible tell it to to your parents and bring the matter to the notice of school authorities.At the same time be watchful and be little bit alert.With your good behaviour you can attract them and make them as your friends.

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

A QUESTION FROM A TEENAGE STUDENT

Sir,

I have attended the training programme you have conducted in our school recently for students.

My parents are doctors, working in a government hospital.I am the only child of my parents. I am sixteen years old.Eventhough I study in a good school,I find it difficult to concentrate in my studies.I am a bit below average in exams.Parents and my teachers curse me always.I find it miserable to live in my house.I have more interest in music and dance programmes.I have more interest in keyboard.I joined a music group recently.This makes my parents more angry with me.They want me to become a doctor like them.I am confused,it is too difficul for me to study medicine and I am not prepared for it.Please help me.

ANSWER

I understand your problem.As a doctor, like your parents I can advise you to prepare yourself

to pursue a course in medicine.It needs a lot of preparation from your side.Securing high grades in final examintion is very important to get admission in a good medical college.You say that you are below average student and have more interest in music and dance.If you have real interest in music and you think that you have real talent in music you should prove this atleast to your parents and get their whole hearted support.After all, music is also a good profession like medicine.You should understand that academic intelligence has nothing to do with success in life.The ability to motivate onself,the ability to face difficulties in life,to control impulses,to control your moods and to regulate your emotions are more important to succeed in life.A high IQ is no gaurentee of wealth,power,fame or happiness in life.You are very young but your question is very intelligent.Try to convince your parents.Best of luck.

TEENAGE BEHAVIOUR

Negative emotions alters the physiology and psychology of the teenager.Depression sabotages their self image and esteem.It leads to behavioural problems and personality disorders in young children and adolescents.These children prefer to be alone.They feel tired, weak and more exhausted.They look miserable and pathetic.

They are not loved by anybody,even by their own parents.This makes them sad.They are

unhappy with their peers and environment.They become lazy and day dream a lot.They perform poorly in schools and find difficulties in concentration.These children are more aggressive and violent in their behaviour.They learn bad habits.They acquire special skills in telling lies.They cheat their friends and family members.The argue and fight a lot.They destroy other's articles,disobey their parents,argue with school teachers and fight with their fellow students.They tease others,hurt other's feelings,becoming emotional, turning very arrogant, becoming a menace to the society.

They are always angry with their parents for their negative criticism.They fall prey to drugs and alcohol.This makes them more depressed. They cry a lot in silence and burst into tears very often.Nurturing bad and negative emotions and violent behaviour for a long time leads them to severe illnesses and nervous breakdown.

TEENAGE FEELINGS

Adolescents with emotional stress and feelings cannot listen without distortion.They cannot respond with clear headedness.When their feelings are intense,their thoughts are confused.When feelings are hurt,small issues become threats.Stress disables their stability.They can't undrstand or read other's feelings.They neither impress or attract others.

Worry,fear,anger and anxiety have a damaging effect on their mental performance.They experience tension,uneasiness,headaches,body pain,sleeplessness and a host of emotional turbulance that leads to body illness leading to grave diseases.
anxiety undermines intellectual performance
fear sabotages confidence
worry interferes with clear thinking
sadness disrupts mental clarity
mental agony alters memory
bad moods disrupts and disturbs relationship
anger ends in violence
guilt lowers self esteem
jealousy leads to awkward criticism
doubt destroys trust.

TEENAGE THOUGHTS

Thougts are like clouds in the sky.A bad thought comes and stays in the mind and moves after sometime.At times the bad thoughts stay longer in the mind.When it stays longer it disturbs the young mind.
Thiughts of sadness,worry,fear and anger move into the mind and pass out with the passage of time.When these thoughts persist for a longer time,it leads to anxiety,rage fear and depression.Unlike sadness anger is more damaging.
A stimulus for anger is the thought of being molested,punished,the thought of being treated unjustly,rudely,the thoght of being insulted or neglected.Thoughts of worry confuses the mind.The mind does'nt know what went wrong and experiencing negative moods before they develop.These children loose interest in studies.
They feel tired,fatigued and exhausted.They do'nt learn anything from school.Feling of confidence,zeal and enthusiasm leaves out of the mind when worry and sadness enters into it.

TEENAGE MIND

Teenage mind is not rational,it is emotional.The mind is immature and irrational.When the child is emotional the thinking mind is stopped and gets confused.Emotional outbursts leads to violent behaviour.

Young children and adolescents almost learn all their basic emotions straight from their parents.The mind of the young is very weak and fragile.Family life is the first school for emotional learning.Students of depressed mothers generally reflect the bad feelings of their mothers, more vividly on their faces.They display sadness,unhappiness,anger and fear with intensity and colour.
A student's success in life depends to a great extent on the emotional traits of their parernts.Parental neglect is more dangerous than physical abuse.
Neglected youngsters are anxious,fearful,inattentive,careless,aggressive and withdrawn.Bad emotions weaken their mind.Their thinking and learning skills are altered and their concentration gets diminished.Continuous strain and stress impair their learning centers,they become shy,sensitive to criticisms and indulge in violence and engage in petty crimes.

TEENAGE AND BAD MOODS

Emotional stress and bad moods alters the present day teenager's life style,

shatters his self image, tatters his self esteem and lowers his mental and academic performance.
The most common cause of fear and failure among young adults are disturbance and confusion in their minds.Signs and symptoms of anxiety and depression affects almost every teenager.Depression in girls increases at the time of puberty.Children of
depressed mothers very often display their mother's moods in their faces.The socially
incompetent children are dificult to handle by ordinary teachers.These tenagers do not understand lessons.They neither read nor express their emotions.

THE ART OF MIND HEALING

THE ART OF MIND HEALING

It is a divine path to explore your inner self. A unique programme designed by sufi master and psychologist,Dr.Habibullah  This programme rejuvenates and triggers your physical,mental,sexual and spiritual faculties into action.It warmths your body,boggles your mind,storms your brain and refine your real self.

PROGRAMME OBJECTIVES
Secret conversion formulas and exersises melt your energy and helps to mould your personality and character into an unimaginable and inconceivable different positive dimensions.
ESOTRIC HIGHLIGHTS OF THE PROGRAMME
helps you master yourself in face reading,mind reading, self-diagnosing,self-healing,mind tuning,mind transplantation and sex transmutation.
INNER EXPERIENCE
helps you open your inner eye and guides you to
obseve your sensations
identify your perceptions
analyse your feelings
grasp your thoughts
enlighten your thinking power
colour your imaginations
develop your ideas
create your words
prerform miracle deeds.
SPIRITUAL HIGHLIGHTS
helps you to understand, analyse, differenciate,develop and experience your
instinct
insight
impulse
interest
intelligence
intution
inspiration.
TRANSFORMATION
you will find it easier to transmute your dream into wish;wish into faith and faith into will power.At the end,
you learn yourself to identify and diagnose your
emotional upsets,worry,fear,phobias,anxiety,frustrations,conflicts,anger,aggression,tension,greif and guilt.
and learn the miracle of converting the negative emotions into faith,power,strength,joy,harmony,love and success.

The mind boggling and brain storming session helps you to develop, your abilities,attitude,character, confidence,creativity,concentration,energy,efficiency,memory,power,vision wisdom  and will power.          

This programme is specially designed for professionals, executives,businessmen and their spouses.
THIS PROGRAMME IS A RICH BLEND OF HEALTH,PSYCHOLOGY,SUFISM AND MYSTICISM MIXED WITH THE ESOTERIC INGREDIENTS AND MIXED SCIENCES OF EAST AND WEST.

SUFI MYSTICISM

experiencing
SUFI MYSTICISM

Sufi mysticism is not a religion. It is not a philosophy. It is neither Psychology nor occultism.
It is a combination of all these sciences. In essense it is a science; a science of esotericism.
A sufi mystic is one who is a master of himself; mastery over his own body and mind. He is
not a man of knowledge, but a man of wisdom. He is the one who sees a right thing in a wrong
thing and a wrong thing in a right thing. He is a metaphysician, an alchemist, a master mind- healer and a true psychologist. He is always at ease with his disease as disease has no power over him and death finds it difficult to win him over as he prefers to die before his death. He is a real threat to 'death and disease'.His philosophy is simple.

He says,
'Do as others do, live as others live, think as others think, but feel as you yourself feel and analyse life as your soul guides you'
A sufi sees without eyes; he sees further than one sees and he sees that which the eyes cannot
see. He hears without ears; he hears more keenly than one hears and he hears that which the ear cannot hear. It is seeing even without eyes and hearing even without ears. His seing is claivoyance and his hearing is clairaudience. To him life is meditation and meditation is life. He
enjoys action and he enjoys repose. He experiences both, as action is needed in life just as repose
is needed. He rejuvenates his body in action and his mind in repose.
He transmutes his repose into concentration, concentration into contemplation and contemplation into meditation and meditation to inner realisation. In this stage his two eyes become one and in becoming one his eye obtain such power that, it pierces all things and knows
all things.It is for this knowledge that the inner eye or the third eye opens. In this abysmal bliss he acquire strength, illumination, happiness and pease.