ANSWERS ALL YOUR QUESTIONS CONCERNED WITH TEENAGE PHYSICAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Thursday, March 18, 2010

DAD MOM AND THE CHILD



THE FINAL QUESTION
There are some important questions unanswered.These questions are highly emotional. Children and adolescents harbour these sentimental questions in their minds. These questions are deeply buried in their sub-conscious mind. Parents are not sensitve to it. They think that their children are very much ignorant about their past misdeeds and bad behaviour. They blindly believe that these children would forget the abuses committed on them by their own hands. Every bad incident that happened in their childhood years is vividly recoded in their memory.It is not possible for these children to hide their negative emotions anymore. At the appropriate moment
the accumulated energy will burst open to the surface and the most suppressed sensitive emotions are expelled out with force and vigour.These young children no longer tolerate the bad behaviour inflicted on them by their own perverted parents.They are now more angry and very aggressive towards their care takers and their parents.
Physical traumas can be healed; the emotional traumas can not be endured.It is too difficult to heal the mental wounds.It is also too difficult to answer certain logical questions. My question is, are you ready to answer the following questions, if your child poses these questions straight to your face.It is a great challenge for the modern day parents to answer as these children are very intelligent.
Now read the poem :
DR.HABIBULLAH mixes the true feelings with a tinge of colour and tears of emotions.
i keep your face
i speak your voice
i practise your vice
i play your tricks.
i am not part of you
i am the whole of you.
i am your blood
i am your flesh
i am your bone.
i am the tough and
the rough of you.
my habits are
not mine.
my name is
not my choice.
when i committ
some mistakes
people ask me
your name.
they know me
by your name.
they measure me
by your image.
they judge me
by your reputation.
how strange
people are,
to accuse the parent
for the wrongs
of their child.
can you change
their mind.

INDIVIDUALITY AND PERSONALITY




THE QUESTION OF SUBSTANCE

A child can not be bad all of a sudden. Every child is born pure. It is the parents who make them good or bad. A child is violent because the child witnesses violence in the behaviour of their own parents. When these children grow older, they become bad because their parents are not good in their character. Every child believes that it's behaviour and charecter is shaped by the training they get in their early period of life and that too, from their own parents. Modern parents are in an embrassing situation when their grown up kids put the blame whole heartedly on their parents for their minor and major vices they committ in their daily life.

DR.HABIBULLAH in his poem, discusses an interesting dialogue that happened between the child and the parent.How do you blame your kid when your child ask the right question at the right time.
i am bad - because
you are not good.
i am dishonest - because
you are not honest.
i am violent - because
you don't profess non - violence.
virtue can not be
born out of vice.
darkness is not
the child of light.
it is you
who stripped me
of my individuality
and clothed me
with your personality
and forgotten
your responsibility
and responsible for
my irresponsibility.
there are vaccines
for prevention
of deadly diseases.
is there vaccines
for prevention
of parental bad habits.



Wednesday, March 17, 2010

BAD PARENTS MANUFACTURE BAD CHILDREN



PARENTS - THE ROLE MODELS
Parents are the real role models for their children.Good and bad habits of the parents are easily learned and stored in their memory.Children invariably follow these inputs for their referal in case, they face any critical situations in their life. When the children misbehave, it is mainly due to the faulty training imposed by the parents in their early days.They are not aware that they are really responsible for incubating the bad character and behaviour in their own children without understanding them emotionally well.These mental taumas inflicted early in life affect their physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
DR.HABIBULLAH writes about one such incdent in his poem.
as the twig bends
so the tree.
a bad parent
can not bring forth
a good child.
in anger
you can not laugh.
in weep
you can not smile.
it is difficult
to extract
sandal oil
in the fire wood.
dogs can not sing
snakes can not hum
tigers can not bleat
the leopard can't
change it's spots.
you are my mirror
i am your mirror
mirror is always innocent.
it can reflect
what is projected.
i can reflect
only your image.
If the grown up children and adolescents ask this sort of sensitive questions, it may be too difficult for the parents to answer them sensibly.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

PARENTS - CHILDREN AND EMOTIONS



PARENTS - THE FIRST TEACHERS
Children learn all fundamental things straight from their parents; because children invariably consider their parents as role models. All activities of the parents are not only watched by their children but vividly recorded in their sub - conscious mind, which later on evoke major psycho - somatic disorder, if parental attitude toward their children happened to be violent in nature. Children's mind is like a clean slate; uncorrupted, tender and more fragile. Bad traumatic events disrupts their mind negatively and result in bad behavioural disorder. When the parents accuse their children for their anti social behaviour they should realise that they are unconsciously responsible for their kid's bad habits.
The mental attitude of one such teenager is described beautifully by DR.HABIBULLAH in his poem. Just meditate on it...
i learned all my
first lessons
from you.
you are my
first teacher.
you are my
grand master.
you are my
great hero.
you are my
super model.
i am your copy
i am your print.
i follow your
foot prints.
no school teaches
love and affection,
no college coaches
kindness and generosity.
honesty and integrity
can not be learned.
truth and faith
can not be purchased.
these human traits
can not be trained
only be experienced.
face to face
from the parents
to their children.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

IS NOT DEPRESSION - HEREDITY


AN EMOTIONAL QUESTION

Parents think that children won't ask difficult questions. But their thoughts are different; they may not ask embarassing questions to their parents, but they may think differently in their mind.When they grow older, their older thoughts too become mature and bring forth new dimension in their thinking pattern. Parental attitudes create lot of confusion in their young minds. They realise that their parents were very harsh and cruel towards them in their younger days. It hurts them emotionally in their later period of growth and development when they become adolescents and young adults. DR.HABIBULLAH writes in his poem about the mental attitude of these children and how an angry, young innocent adolescent raises a very critical question towards his own parents, in fact - a difficult question too difficult to answer.
a child's charecter is
moulded by nature and nurture.
nature is heredity,
nurture is environment.
what sort of heredity
you infused in me.
if migraine is heredity
is not mental disorder - heredity.
if heart attack is heredity
is not anger - heredity.
if diabetes is heredity
is not depression - heredity.
if asthma is heredity
is not anxiety - heredity.
it is not that - your blood
become my blood,
your thoughts too.
it is not that - your bones
become my bones,
your feelings too.
it is not that - your flesh
become my flesh,
your character too.
if you are poisoned
in your heart,
i am too poisoned
in my heart.

Friday, March 12, 2010

BETWEEN TEARS AND CRIES



AN INTIMATE DIALOGUE BETWEEN
THE SON AND THE FATHER
Children need attention from their parents in times of crisis and when they meet bad situations in life.They don't get any support morally and emotionally when they face tough problems in their day to day life.This attitude from their parents make them sad and at times make them depressed.
DR.HABIBULLAH picturises in his beautiful poem one such intimate dialogue that happened between the father and the son. Now read the poem.....
in my life's crisis and
in times of upsets
i looked up
for your help.
but you turned me
down in the dumps.
turned your face
closed your eyes
gave me a deaf ear
to my fears and cries.
when you close your heart
when you cross your arms
when you keep me
at arm's length
how shall i gain
mental strength.
how weak i am
how strong you are.
you used me
for your comforts.
abused me
for your discomforts.
tell me dad
how to identify
a wolf in
sheep's clothing.

IS NOT WITHDRAWL OF LOVE A CRIME


PARENTAL NEGLECT
Children in general long for love and affection from their own parents; but very often it is denied. Parents have no time to sit and discuss and even share the most intimate things with their own children. When children decides to talk about their private matters they are not encouraged.In fact they are yelled and often criticised. Their privacy is broken and their self-image is shattered in front of others.
One such incident happened between the father and the son is narrated by DR.HABIBULLAH in his beautiful poem. Now just listen to the cries of this innocent child.....
your yelp and growl
puts me in doldrums.
your bark and howl
drops me in depression.
it drains my energy
squeezes my heart
takes away my pease of mind.
i desired to be the
apple of your eye
in your mind's field.
but you have made me
an apple of discard.
like a fish out of water
i gasp for breath of love.
if withdrawl of life is a crime
is not withdrawl of love a crime.