WHEN THE ANGER EXPLODES

TEENAGE AND ANGER

Children and adolescents are wounded emotionally when they interact with their parents,friends and relatives even in day to day normal conversations. Since they are young and weak they cannot show their anger towards them in a forceful way. Most of the time their anger is suppressed continuously.Their anger may erupt in their behaviour in a subtle way. At times it explodes ferociously. When it explodes these adolescents throw away their long stored temper tantrums towards their opposing and oppressing parents and care takers.

The minute they loose control of their anger it may lead to serious verbal threats, violence and destruction. These children and adolescents may look like timid, quite and fragile, but once the unexpected and uncontrolled outbursts of temper explodes they behave most outrageously at the slightest provocation. It happens suddenly without any warning and wanes without any trace. Once the anger is gone these adolescents look like fools and behave like retarted kids. They are embarassed, ashamed and terrified when their parents or friends are hurt by their bad behaviour. It is human nature to be violent at times, and cannot be considered as a pathology or inherent mental disorder. But violent behaviour is common among substance abusers. It is common among adolescents with mood disordrs. Neurological complications, brain lesions, epilepsy, mania and depression also provoke temper tantrums and violent outbursts in children and adolescents.

How then the children and adolesents are allowed to express their anger in a reasonable and natural way. Anger in fact is an inborn aggressive instinct. Sports and atheletic world allow these youngsters to express their aggressive impulses in a safe and socially acceptable form. Atheletes and sportmen become super performers with varying degree of success in controlling their anger, violence and aggression and channelising it in a positive and creative ways - that shows them as super stars in their sports field.

Explosive outbursts of anger and violent temper tantrums are considered abnormal if it occurs regularly in children and teenagers. It matters concern if it blows out of proportion, out of control and severe - that may result in bullying, destruction, chronic absenteism in school and drug abuse ends in behavioural disorders.

WHEN THE EMOTION LEAKS

CHILDREN AND EMOTIONS

Children in general have a desire to feel happy, but it is not possible all the time. The happiness and peace slips away and in turn takes over by feelings of sadness and gloom. At times they may experience the feeling of fear, shame, worry, anger, disgust, hatred, jealousy and self-hate. In their tender young age, it is difficult for them to tackle the daily pressures of stress they face from their family members especially from their parents. Facing fears, frustrations and iritations make them weak and powerless.

Children and adolescents are considered as play objects by their parents and care takers. This means that kids live on dangerously high levels of stress and experience severe mood changes, this often leads them to mental and emotional break down. These children are at times neglected by their parents for their abnormal bad behaviour. Their self-esteem and respect are shattered and these adolescents find comfort in substance abuse. They find relief through alcohol and street drugs. When the parental relationship is broken these adolescents become the victim of social outcast result in emotional isolation, when connecting with trusted parents is lost. This leads to emotional restlessnes, trigger pain, frustration and intense fear.

Parental neglect and emotional restlessness produce shame in these children. Shame takes away their self-respect and erode their self-esteem, weaken their self-confidence, shaken their self-discipline, shatters their self-determination and leads them to failure and loss of self-control. These children feel uneasiness in their day to day relationship with their care takers especially with their parents that leads to internal and external withdrawl from others.

At the emotional level these adolescents act like kids. They follow their emotional impulses. They feel uneasy, restless and guilty. Their mind is filled with negative feelings like anger, guilt, fear, envy, jealousy, anxiety and hatred. These emotional conflicts lead them towards depression. Thes youngsters find themselves acting and saying things in ways that distance them from the parents and the peers whom they love. They develop their own way of feeling, thinking and acting. It is high time for the parents to understand and study these clues and act out positively to bring their children under their control before it create mental discomfort and emotinal distress that leads them to severe mental handicap and emotional break down.

DAD MOM AND THE CHILD

THE FINAL QUESTION

There are some important questions unanswered.These questions are highly emotional. Children and adolescents harbour these sentimental questions in their minds. These questions are deeply buried in their sub-conscious mind. Parents are not sensitve to it. They think that their children are very much ignorant about their past misdeeds and bad behaviour. They blindly believe that these children would forget the abuses committed on them by their own hands. Every bad incident that happened in their childhood years is vividly recoded in their memory.It is not possible for these children to hide their negative emotions anymore. At the appropriate moment

the accumulated energy will burst open to the surface and the most suppressed sensitive emotions are expelled out with force and vigour.These young children no longer tolerate the bad behaviour inflicted on them by their own perverted parents.They are now more angry and very aggressive towards their care takers and their parents.

Physical traumas can be healed; the emotional traumas can not be endured.It is too difficult to heal the mental wounds.It is also too difficult to answer certain logical questions. My question is, are you ready to answer the following questions, if your child poses these questions straight to your face.It is a great challenge for the modern day parents to answer as these children are very intelligent.

Now read the poem :

DR.HABIBULLAH mixes the true feelings with a tinge of colour and tears of emotions.

i keep your face

i speak your voice

i practise your vice

i play your tricks.

i am not part of you

i am the whole of you.

i am your blood

i am your flesh

i am your bone.

i am the tough and

the rough of you.

my habits are

not mine.

my name is

not my choice.

when i committ

some mistakes

people ask me

your name.

they know me

by your name.

they measure me

by your image.

they judge me

by your reputation.

how strange

people are,

to accuse the parent

for the wrongs

of their child.

can you change

their mind.

INDIVIDUALITY AND PERSONALITY

THE QUESTION OF SUBSTANCE

A child can not be bad all of a sudden. Every child is born pure. It is the parents who make them good or bad. A child is violent because the child witnesses violence in the behaviour of their own parents. When these children grow older, they become bad because their parents are not good in their character. Every child believes that it's behaviour and charecter is shaped by the training they get in their early period of life and that too, from their own parents. Modern parents are in an embrassing situation when their grown up kids put the blame whole heartedly on their parents for their minor and major vices they committ in their daily life.

DR.HABIBULLAH in his poem, discusses an interesting dialogue that happened between the child and the parent.How do you blame your kid when your child ask the right question at the right time.

i am bad - because

you are not good.

i am dishonest - because

you are not honest.

i am violent - because

you don't profess non - violence.

virtue can not be

born out of vice.

darkness is not

the child of light.

it is you

who stripped me

of my individuality

and clothed me

with your personality

and forgotten

your responsibility

and responsible for

my irresponsibility.

there are vaccines

for prevention

of deadly diseases.

is there vaccines

for prevention

of parental bad habits.