INSULTS - HURTS AND HUMILIATION

EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

Children are like flowers.They are tender, weak and fragile.They bloom and blossom with the manure of love and affection.These are like sunlight and water to the flower.When it is denied, the flower will perish.When the love is denied to the children, their emotional health is shattered and they become emotionally handicapped. When parents start accusing their own children for their very small faults, these children are prone to untold anxiety and depression. Their emotional growth is deprived and they naturally fall as victims into the hands of emotional disaster.

Parents are advised not to make crude comments on their own children.These insults, hurts and humiliation make them more inferior and they feel awkward in facing the challenging situation in

their life. The adverse comments uttered by one crude father against his very sesitive son is beautifully expressed by DR.HABIBULLAH in his picturseque emotive poem. Listen to the crying words of the little one, addressed to his perverted and unloving dad.

food, water and shelter are

the basic needs of men.

even to satiate my needs

i need to overcome

your sadistic sarcasm.

when i eat my food

did you not say

i eat like a horse.

so delicious are

your soft words.

when i drink water

did you not utter

i drink like a fish.

very tasty are

your sweet words.

when i sleep for a while

did you not shout

i sleep like a log.

more sedative are

your soothing words.

how sharp - your hurts are

do you have

a balm - to heal

my mental scars.

hard words

never inspire anyone.

sharp comments

never give serenity.

cutting remarks

never bring tranquility.

words are sharper than weapons

medicines heal- the pysical wounds

how can you heal- my mental wounds.

TOO DIFFICULT FOR THE PARENTS TO ANSWER...AND TO DIGEST.

ANGER ANXIETY AND ANGUISH

ADOLESCENTS AND CRITICISM

It is too difficult for the children and adolescents to digest negative comments and criticisms.A growing child needs care and affection from their parents and teachers;if it is denied to them they feel hurt.The are badly wounded in their heart.They may not show it outside like adults;they keep it suppressed in their subconscious mind.They exhibit their emotions outside, when they are utterly disturbed and frustrated by their close relatives, mainly their parents.But parents abuse them when they need love and affection. They are ill treated when they expect appreciation from their parents,teachers,care takers and close relatives.

The anger and the anguish these children and adolescents express unconsciously are vividly expressed by DR.HABIBULLAH in his beautiful poem.

When these children are allowed to speak naturally it is too difficult to answer them; just listen to their heart beats....

did you not toture me, when

i needed your tender love.

did you not torment me, when

i harbour for your kindness.

did you not degrade me, when

i longed for your appraisal.

did you not desert me, when

i deserved a praise.

did you not turn out to be

an intimate enemy, when

i expect your friendliness.

how could you victimise

the soul of your own son.

how could you eat

the flesh of your own blood.

WHEN SELF-ESTEEM SHATTERS

SELF ESTEEM is an esteemed possesson of a human being.A man is ready to loose his valid material possessions, not his sef-esteem.He is ready to pay any price to preserve his self-esteem.Children are more concerned with their self image and esteem.Modern day parents are not concerned about this.Parents and teachers invariably pass adverse comments on these volatile young children.They do not think about it's adverse effects and how it affect the mind of these youngsters.Children and adolescents are more vulnerable to it.Most of their genuine demands are not respected by their parents.These parents abuse their children verbally with obnoxious languages.They do not know that they are unconsciously inflicting an emotional trauma on the minds of these innocent young children.

Every day the father and the mother hurt these young children with dirty words, bad gestures and cruel comments. These children are emotionally shattered by these incidents. These youngsters are more susceptible to rage and anger.They very often burst into fits and tears.These children weep a lot for unknown reasons.

DR.HABIBULLAH narrates beautifully about the 'child's weep' in his very extraordinary poem.

The poor child expresses his fears and mental agonies with a weep to his unconcerned father.

weep has become

my constant companion

since the moment

I was born.

none knows

the emotional wounds

the inner turmoil,

you inflicted on

my young mind.

I wept, wept and wept

and my weep

turned inside and

trnsformed as 'wheeze'

Is not wheezing

an inner form of weeping.

Is not the cry

an emotional language.

Is not the weep

an emotional communication.

Is not the sob

an exchange of emotions.

Parents in general have a poor perception in reading the facial emotions expressed by their own children.They experience difficulties in recognising the moods of their youngsters.Wheezing in children and adults are mostly due to psychological than physiological, but the physiology of their body is greatly altered by their psychological condition.Wheezing in young adults are due to an abnormal emotional state rather than an abnormal physical state. Children expect love and affection from their parents.If it is denied they become abnormal in their moods and behaviour. It leads to emotional deprivation. These children are more prone to drugs and alcohol and naturally fall into the trap of depression.

WHERE WERE I - BEFORE I WAS BORN

AN UNTOLD STORY OF AN ABUSED CHILD

This is an interesting emotional tussle that happened between a father and his son.Here the son grows and becomes an adult.The character and behaviour of the son is not liked by his father.The father finds all sorts of faults in his son's activities.He scolds him, accuses him and curses him for his bad behaviour.The son was quite and very patient for a long time.He did not rise a single harsh word againt his father.But it is too much for the son to bear the emotional trauma that was inflicted on him continuously.His emotions buried deep in his sub-conscious mind gave way and comes out ferotiously to the surface of his conscious mind.Now he speaks his mind,his words are very bold,measured,enriched with meaning and substance.

DR.HABIBULLAH  has penned this extraordinary poem.He explained and discussed at length the inner emotional meaning of the poem to his very close inner circle of friends,fans and admirers at a special function organised in one of his friend's house recently.

The son is very angry with his father now.He starts asking questions one after another.He tells his father that he should not be punished for his bad behaviour.He says that his father is responsible for his bad charecter.He puts the whole blame on his father's shoulders,because he says he simply follows the foot steps of his own father. and has learnt all bad things from him only.

Now read the poem..

to err is human

to forgive is divine

judging oneside

paves the way to injustice.

justice demands

balance of two sides.

my question is

where were I

before I was born.

neither did I plan

for my birth

nor did you ask

for my conscent.

I was born without

my permission.

the moment I was born

you became my dad.

I am nothing  but

the ingredients of you

your genes and emotions.

The son's anguish and sadness reflect in his throbbing question.He is very logical in his arguments.He asks a simple question tohis father.To committ a mistake is common to every human being.Prophet Abraham committed the mistake of telling a lie.Moses murdered an egyptian.God did not punish them.But you have punished me for my small mistakes.Don't judge your side alone.If you committ the mistake of judging my faults alone you will land in trouble.To your sick eyes my mistakes are magnified.You simply forget about your blunders.If you want justice you need a balance of good mind.Unfortunately you do not possess a clarity of mind.Your judgement is always wrong.First of all you have committed the great mistake or the great blunder of giving me a birth without my conscent.I did not ask for that.I am ashamed that I am born to you without my permission and you have naturally became my father.That doesn't mean that I should act like a slave to you life long.I am nothing but your flesh,blood and bones.I am made by your basic ingrerdients mixed with your genes and emotions.I am not to be blamed for your mistakes because you are responsible for it.

                                                                                                     post to be continued tomorrow.......